Tuesday, June 29, 2004


who needs sleep???
i mean, in all reality, really.
i have a guitar on my kitchen table, sitting next to me, breathing in some fucked up tuning. i can't find my tuner and i had to tune from scratch by ear, all kindsa fun.
wanna see my new apartment? here's me at the dooooooooor, see - apartment 3a!

i'm still unpacking all my boxes. never lived in a place without closets before, kinda took them for granted, you know, places to put your stuff...so i'm now perfecting the art of stacking and repacking and storing things under my tub (yes it's in the kitchen) and next to the stove...

late last night i found betty the buddha girl. she's been with me for about 8 years now and it was awesome to find her in one piece...she has found a new home on my windowsill!

tomorrow i tackle finding a place for my stereo. once it's on and i'm playing a record then i will feel 'officially' moved in and ready to go run amok.
i come alive in this city. it feels home more than any other place. i felt comfortable in sf, hell i loooooooved it...but this city wakes up all the angels and demons in me and doesn't relent.
it brings me beauty in every moment.

i've got a stack of books by my bed i'm determined to get through this summer:
henry miller - sexus
william burroughs - naked lunch
alex grey - the mission of art
gabriel garcia marquez - 100 years of solitude
naomi klien - no logo
carl jung - man and his symbols

i'll get more adventurous in the next few days and put up pictures of my apartment and maybe even all the people i'm falling in love with.
have i mentioned there are MILLIONS of people living in this city???

okay maybe even IIIIII need sleep...until next time.


here's a little treat...thank you street pole in the east village

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

camels & caramel

i'm still in sf. i'm still in a hotel. i'm still going out too late & too often.
been wondering...what makes you an alcoholic -cause i've been out drinking every night. but i've done that before. and then i go without drinking for weeks or months...so...??? :)
i'm just looking for stimulation, for excitement, for rock...

muse is on tour with the cure and their festival this summer. fuck they are playing on second stage and they are the best band on the bill what is UP with the stupid americans??? jesus christ help us all.

my uncle passed away last week. to celebrate his life my entire extended family joined together. we celebrated to be sure. oh such a reason to come together...

i love being back in sf for a visit...for work...to see the people i love.
i hade a mini heartbreak over the weekend. to realize you love someone so much more than you cared to admit before...to be me, to open my heart, to open the doors and then have to let it hang...to let it be and just release the emotion, without acknowledgment or acecptance, but just with trust and faith in the world. life continues to promise so much.

i hung out with some old friends on saturday...great people...i missed this...

i go back to new york city this saturday. my only plan is to go to shows and play music. i will be working on recording a solo demo in july. something simple, and done alone, but a work that i am proud of and will want to give to others - something i am willing to share. awe yeah awe yeah.

god bless the moments of weakness, the moments of pain, the realizations that lust is the love that drives life onward. ireland calls. adventure rears its head. i am never left alone. i am never lonely. even when i feel the pangs of solitude. it is simply breath releasing.

"feels like home...was i wrong? ... i belong in your arms... where the white scars of love are drawn..."

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

living in a hotel

so i'm living in a hotel right now
in san francisco.
i have a real home. but it's 3,000 miles away
what do i do for fun?
dance around my room while listening to jimmy eat world super loud on my headphones.
don't believe me?

i'm obsessing over self portraits right now. in general just obsessing over doing everything myself. finally picked up my guitar from john and am delving into the world of garage band on my ibook. smoking a lot and listening to hardcore is making my voice scratchy (but sultry i suppose). playing deluxe tonight. excited but nervous - playing with three of the most amazing musicians i know...it still intimidates me...but i live for this kind of shit.


Wednesday, June 09, 2004


oh man it's a miracle. all day i've been trying to get this up. i did it!
my secret journal.
lots of fun to be had here.
i'm obsessed with self portraits. i'll post some soon.
my body is heating up and anticipating movement. all thoughts will cease soon. and all action will be from being not doing.