Wednesday, September 08, 2004

harder to breathe

i just want to sit here. drinking wine. more wire. not thinking about growth or anything else beyond my control at this exact moment in time. if i've learned anything it's that i can get through anything. i know this. so i'm resolved to sit inside myself tonight and find silence again. i cannot be afraid. there is too much to do.
so i'm in a studio apartment, i've got a cute view of the city and grace cathedral and only a 7 minute walk to work. it's perfect for now.

people keep asking what my plans are? well...i can barely plan past the weekend so...we'll all just have to wait and see. october will keep me in san francisco to kittie/house sit for john as he goes on his honeymoon...i will also finish writing and begin recording again and play some shows which i'm excited about. i am not sure what they will sound like with just me and guitar...but i only have to spend some more time with them and the tears and fire will find their balance...always do.

i have an overwhelming urge to go read baudelaire. i listened to a lot of old cd's i was into when i lived in paris a few years ago and i think that set me off...there's a really cool song that is french and english called 1+1 and it always makes me want to write in french...or take poetry and set it to the itch for fleur du mal is somewhat explained :)

john and i began our battle to get back red pants productions back. i lost the domain in a stupid war with the web and domain hosters...lame...don't even ask about i made my first email plee for it back today since some robat has stolen it. arghhhhhh.

i am no longer a pirate.

people i miss today: danika. laura. jessica. my darling girls i send you all hugs and kisses and warm cups of hot chocolate.

i'm having a new obsession with seattle. it seems like the greatest place...water, rain, a big city but lots of nature... trees... green...did i mention the rain?

notice how i'm talking about everything but what is really going on?

i love you.


next show: club deluxe, san francisco, tuesday october 26th. 2004.


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